Productive and not-so-productive things I have done to get over you

  • Tried to learn how to code
  • Threw out the red roses you gave me just before you left
  • Moved all of the photos of us onto my hard drive and off of my phone
  • Made a Sad Break-up Playlist that I cried to once a day, for a long time
  • Later made a ‘Moving On’ playlist that kind of just turned into Sad Break Up Playlist 2.0
  • Cuddled the reindeer stuffed toy you gave me after we once had a fight
  • Proceeded to cuddle said reindeer toy for 2 months
  • Left the toy in Auckland so I wouldn’t be reminded of you
  • Started to spend all of my money on high-quality soaps and lotions
  • Been angry at you for not loving me enough to stay
  • Rereading our text messages and staying on the one that says “I love you so much but it just wasn’t realistic for me to stay”
  • Deleted most of our photos off of Facebook
  • Wished those photos were still there
  • Looked up Atlanta on Google Maps to see how far it is from the music schools I want to go to
  • Really took advantage of this time living by myself to 100% let the tears, sobs, and ugly crying noises out whenever they come up
  • Took long baths listening to Sad Break-Up or Moving On playlists
  • Went back on Tinder and matched with over a hundred people who aren’t you
  • Watched every awful Rom-Com under the sun
  • Stalked your Netflix account to see what you’ve been watching
  • Got a new bed and new sheets

All of this and nothing has worked.  You’re still everything.

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